Read my new book, The Pursuit Of Excellence https://bit.ly/excellencehawk

Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday"

Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com

Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12    https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12

Oliver Burkeman is the author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management For Mortals. It's a book that has become an international best-seller. 

• The final person Oliver thanked in his book? His grandmother: “My dear grandmother Erica Burkeman, whose childhood departure from Nazi Germany I describe in chapter 7, died in 2019 at the age of 96. I don’t know whether she would have read this book, but she would definitely have told everyone she met that I had written it.”
• The average human lifespan is absurdly, insultingly brief.
  • If you live to be 80, you’ll have had about 4,000 weeks. But that’s no reason for despair.
  • Confronting our radical finitude – and how little control we really have – is the key to a fulfilling and meaningfully productive life.
• When someone close to you dies, Oliver writes, “Such experiences, however wholly unwelcome, often appear to leave those who undergo them in a new and more honest relationship with time. The question is whether we might attain at least a little of that same outlook in the absence of the experience of the agonizing loss.”
• When stumped by a life choice, choose “enlargement” over happiness. Don’t ask: Will this make me happy?”, but “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?”
• The future will never provide the reassurance you seek from it. (This is why it’s wrong to say we live in especially uncertain times. The future is always uncertain; it’s just that we’re currently very aware of it.)
• Embrace radical incrementalism - People who work a little bit every day tend to cultivate the patience it takes to get good.
• Oliver tells the old parable about a vacationing New York businessman who meets a Mexican fisherman…
• The capacity to tolerate minor discomfort is a superpower.
• The solution to imposter syndrome is to see that you are one - Everyone is totally “winging it.” The lesson to be drawn isn’t that we’re doomed to chaos. It’s that you – unconfident, self-conscious, all-too-aware-of-your-flaws – potentially have as much to contribute to your field, or the world, as anyone else.
• The original Latin word for “decide” was decidere which means “to cut off” as in slicing away alternatives.
• The sooner you welcome uncertainty and not knowing as normal ways of being, the better off you’ll be.
• People who work a little bit every day tend to cultivate the patience it takes to get good. These people also quit their day’s work when it’s finished: they identify what their chunk of time or task is per day, they do that and only that, and save more for tomorrow.
• “More often than not, originality lies on the far side of unoriginality.”
  • To illustrate this point, Burkeman uses The Helsinki Bus Station Theory. As the photographer Arno Minkkinen explained, Helsinki bus lines start out traveling the same path but then diverge at different points in the route, spreading out to far and wide locales. When you find your work resembles someone else’s, or you’re on someone else’s bus, traveling someone else’s path, don’t try to go back to the bus station at the very beginning and completely reinvent yourself and start from scratch, keep working and “stay on the bus!” At a certain point, your path will split off into something new.
• The central challenge of time management isn’t becoming more efficient, but deciding what to neglect.
• In an accelerating world, patience – letting things take the time they take – is a superpower.
• In conditions of limitless choice, burning your bridges beats keeping your options open.
• The need to control events is unhelpful. There is too much uncertainty for that.
• Is "follow your passion" good advice?
  • Find something you're good at instead.
• Do things "daily-ish"
  • Harness the power of patience as a force for daily life. Relish the value of consistency.
• Goal setting: "We are incapable of living goalless lives."
  • With that said, "a plan is just a thought."
• Excellence:
  • A willingness to accept the truth of their present situation and not wear blinders. They are clear-eyed.
  • Generosity to other people. They have a basic assumption of a non-zero-sum world.
• Four Thousand Weeks is an entertaining and philosophical but ultimately deeply practical guide to the alternative path of embracing your limits: dropping back down into reality, defying cultural pressures to attempt the impossible, and getting started on what’s gloriously possible instead. It’s about actually getting meaningful things done, here and now, in our work and our lives together – in the clear-eyed understanding that there won’t be time for everything, and that we’ll never eliminate life’s uncertainties.

Read my new book, The Pursuit Of Excellence

https://bit.ly/excellencehawk

Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com

Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday"

Jim Levine has been a literary agent for more than 30 years. Some of his agency’s clients include Ray Dalio, Scott Galloway, Jay Shetty, Gillian Flynn (author of Gone Girl), Satya Nadella (CEO of Microsoft), Tom Brady, & Giselle Bundchen among others… He also is my book agent and he brokered the deals for my book deals for both Welcome To Management AND The Pursuit of Excellence with McGraw-Hill.

Notes:

• Early in my podcasting career, I asked all authors I recorded who the best book agent was... And many of them said, Jim Levine.
• "Being an agent is a continuing liberal arts education, it’s an opportunity to engage with experts and thought leaders in a wide variety of fields and help shape their work to reach the broadest possible audience.”
• Jim has written and published 7 books and over 100 articles for professional magazines… He's won awards for his work as a writer.
• He's the founding director of The Fatherhood Project – A 20-year long foundation-supported initiative to increase men’s involvement in childrearing in all segments of society.
• Jim takes us inside the process from book proposal, selling to a publisher, and ultimately getting the book published.
• "Being an agent is so much more than just selling the book. The relationship is so much more intimate. You have to care."
• Building a company and a culture of growth...
• The best book proposals he's read:
  • The Master Algorithm -- Pedro Domingos
  • Welcome To Management
  • Smartcuts by Shane Snow
• Jim has spent most of his career putting together ideas, people, and money; identifying, nurturing, and marketing talent; and creating projects that make a difference.
• Jim graduated Phi Beta Kappa, magna cum laude from Amherst College, winning Woodrow Wilson, Fulbright, and Ford Foundation Fellowships. He holds two advanced degrees in English Literature from UC Berkeley, where he specialized in Shakespeare and modern literary criticism, and a doctorate from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, where he specialized in child development and social policy.
• Advice:
  • Don’t think about a job, think about skills you have and challenges you could take on…
  • The WHO is really important - Who you work for...
  • Be a perpetual learner
  • Follow your curiosity
  • Have a wide range of interests
• What Jim looks for when hiring – Pat Lencioni’s humble, hungry, and smart – It’s about helping people solve problems.

Read my new book, The Pursuit Of Excellence

https://bit.ly/thepursuitofexcellence

Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com

Text Hawk to 66866 for "Mindful Monday"
This episode starts with a short review of 2021 and I share my goals for 2022.

Twitter/IG: @RyanHawk12    https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12

Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the bestselling The 5 Love Languages® series, which has sold more than 20 million worldwide and has been translated into 50 languages. Dr. Chapman travels the world presenting seminars on marriage, family, and relationships, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. 

Notes:

• The Five Love Languages:
  • Words of Affirmation - Words of affirmation is about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. When this is someone's primary love language, they enjoy kind words and encouragement.\
  • Quality Time - For those who identify with quality time as their love language, love and affection are expressed through undivided attention. This means putting down the cell phone, turning off the tablet, making eye contact, and actively listening.
  • Physical Touch - A person with this love language feels loved through physical affection.
  • Acts of Service - For acts of service, a person feels loved and appreciated when someone does nice things for them, such as helping with the dishes, running errands, vacuuming, or putting gas in the car.
  • Receiving Gifts - Gift-giving is symbolic of love and affection for someone with this love language. They treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift-giver put into it.
• My personal Love Language assessment results:
  • Quality Time: 37%
  • Words of Affirmation: 33%
  • Acts of Service: 20%
  • Physical Touch: 10%
  • Receiving Gifts: 0%
• We all express and receive love differently. Consequently, understanding those differences can make a serious impact on your relationship. According to Dr. Chapman, this exercise is one of the simplest ways to improve your relationships. Here are some ways that understanding love languages can improve your relationship:
  • Promotes selflessness - When you are committed to learning someone else's love language, you are focused on their needs rather than your own.
  • Creates empathy - As someone learns more about how their partner experiences love, they learn to empathize with them.
  • Maintains intimacy - If couples regularly talk about what keeps their love tanks full, this creates more understanding in their relationship.
  • Aids personal growth - When someone is focused on something or someone outside of themselves, it can lead to personal growth.
  • Shares love in meaningful ways - When couples start speaking one another's love language, the things they do for their partners not only become more intentional but also become more meaningful.
• It’s not a feeling. The “in love” feeling wears off after about 2 years. It’s an attitude to love someone. “I want to do anything I can to enrich your life.” There is a thought process and intention behind it.
• Keys to being a better listener:
  • Start with the intention to understand THEIR perspective
  • Do not interrupt the other person
  • Wait until they are completely done speaking
• How to earn back trust?
  • Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a choice. You have to make the choice to forgive someone.
• Thank you to Verywellmind.com for help preparing for this conversation