Episode 211: Vanessa Van Edwards - How To Be Instantly Irresistible

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"Vulnerability is sexy.  There is science to prove it."

Show Notes:

• Sustained Excellence = Being a people reader (not a mind reader)
  • Try to listen to others more than anyone else
  • Get to KNOW the person
  • 3 Skills
    • Decoding - Leaders who are able to read others accurately
    • Encoding - Your ability to send accurate signals to others... What can I do to excite others?
    • Self-Regulation
• The art/science of inspiring others
• We decide if someone is a winner or a loser... Do they feel pride or shame? If we feel pride, we take up more space, shame = less space
• Charisma -- How to be instantly irresistible?
• The most charismatic people
  • High Warmth
  • High Competence
  • Must have both
  • Lucille Ball is a great example. I Love Lucy
• Do you need high levels of charisma to be an effective leader?
  • You do not need to be extroverted... Or a booming leader
  • Quiet, contemplative types can be phenomenal leaders
• How to handle a room with a lot of people networking if you're an introvert?
  • Your key in this room is to try and create 1 on 1 conversations. Play to your strengths
  • Don't stand in the center of the room
  • Stand at a high bar table
  • Low light areas
• Conversation hacks:
  • Sparks - The brain looks for hits, not misses
  • "Anything good happen lately?
  • "Working on anything exciting?"
• Ask soft yes/no questions...
  • "A really skilled decoder is a better listener than anyone else"
• "Vulnerability is sexy.  There is science to prove it."
• "Relatability comes down to ties." -- Saying "Oh, me too" creates a tie with that person.
  • "You want this, I want this..." type speeches
• The 7 micro-expressions

"The most charismatic people have: high warmth and high competence."

Social Media:

• Follow Noah on Twitter: @vvanedwards
• Read: Captivate
• Connect with me on LinkedIn
• Join our Facebook Group: The Learning Leader Community
• To Follow Me on Twitter: @RyanHawk12

More Learning:

Episode 078: Kat Cole – From Hooters Waitress To President of Cinnabon

Episode 071: NateBoyer - Green Beret, Texas Football, The NFL

Episode 179: How To Sustain Excellence - The Best Answers From 178 Questions

Episode 107: Simon Sinek – Leadership: It Starts With Why

The Learning Leader Show is supported by Rhone.  Use the code "Hawk" for 15% off.  Rhone... premium activewear engineered with principle, performance and progress for the modern man.  Rhone builds clothing around 3 main tenants: Cutting-edge Performance, Premium Comfort, and Simplistic Style.

Episode 210: Noah Kagan - How To Start A Business

Episode 209: Jason Redman - The Power Of Being Humble: From A Wounded Navy SEAL

• Sustained Excellence = Humility... Re-learning how to humble yourself.  Arrogance can ruin you
• The story of Jay being "ripped in to" by a leader after he made a mistake that could have costs lives... And how that impacted him
• "Great leaders take a step back... To analyze what happened"
• "There are no bad teams, just bad leaders"
• "You have to allow the situation around you to develop before making a decision"
• How Ranger school helped him stop being selfish, humbled him.
  • Forced to lead in adverse situations, and stop thinking about just himself
• Story: "I am bleeding out. I can feel my life ebbing away as blood seeps from my body into the Iraqi soil..."
• "I was hit in the face and my left arm..."
• How the preparation and training saved his life
• "If facing death, you won't be thinking about material things"
• The sign Jay hung up outside his hospital room
• The Key Tenants
  • Lead Always
  • Overcome All
• "That journey in the hospital taught me... If you are a leader, lead always"
• Building mental resiliency, must build an overcome mindset
• "The woman behind The Trident" -- How his wife Erica acted was heroic (and still is)
  • "She never batted an eye"
  • "When they sent me home, I was a mess, and Erica cared for me.  She was never negative, never questioned me for going to war."
• The greatest natural leader Jay ever met -- Vince Peterson
  • He always led by example, would never ask you to do something he wouldn't do
  • He lost his leg below his knee
  • "Selfless, servant leader, humble" -- Motivated and inspired you to be better
  • Always remained calculated -- Had the ability to drive the team where it needed to go
  • Took ideas from members of the team, dynamic leadership at it's best
• Listen as Jay describes how Dave Michaels was shot 27 times, fought back... And then said, "Come get me... They're all dead."
• The Overcome Academy
  • A way for us to give back to veterans
• www.OvercomeAcademy.org

Social Media:

• Follow David on Twitter: @JasonRedmanWW
• Read: The Trident
• Connect with me on LinkedIn
• Join our Facebook Group: The Learning Leader Community
• To Follow Me on Twitter: @RyanHawk12

David Novak is Co-Founder, Retired Chairman and CEO of Yum! Brands, Inc. (Pizza Hut, KFC, and Taco Bell), one of the world’s largest restaurant companies with nearly 43,000 restaurants in more than 130 countries and territories. He stepped down as CEO on January 1, 2015 and retired from Yum! and Yum!’s Board in May 2016.
During his time as CEO, Yum! doubled in size and became a global powerhouse going from approximately 20% of its profits coming from outside the U.S. in 1997 to nearly 70% in 2014.

David is also the best-selling author of multiple books including Taking People With You: The Only Way To Make Big Things Happen.  In May 2016, he founded OGO (O Great One!) a consumer lifestyle brand on a mission to turn the world on to the awesome power of recognition and remedy what he calls the “global recognition deficit.”

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• Sustained Excellence = "You must be passionate about what you do."  Warren Buffet said he "tap dances to work everyday." You should strive to do that.
  
  • Must also be a constant learner/grower. 
  • Have a healthy dissatisfaction for the status quo
• When people struggle at work, it's typically because they don't like the job
• What do you say to skeptics about the "do what you love" advice: "Colonel Sanders started KFC late in life with his social security check.  It's never too late."
  • Must be self reflective.  Develop a strategy for yourself.  Do a needs assessment.  Dig hard at understanding yourself.
• The impact of moving his entire childhood.  Living in 23 states by the 7th grade.  Moved 3 times per year.  Lived in trailer parks most of his childhood.
• Advice to people early in their career: "Don't wait until you have a management job to lead.  Start doing it immediately."
• "I tried to learn everything I could from the people above me."
• "The minute I stopped learning, I asked for another job."
• "I looked at my boss as my coach.  A good boss should be a coach."
• The manage 2 up plus 2 down strategy:
  • Make your boss very successful and make his/her boss very successful
  • Help the people directly working for you successful and directly help the people that work for them to be great
• "Every time I met with the CEO, I always brought 3-5 ideas every time we met.  I always brought value to those meetings."
  • "When a good opportunity came up, he thought of me" 
• Coaching is an "AND" job -- Tell them what you like AND how they can improve.  Must do both.
  • The 3X5 note card exercise: Write a strength and a developmental area for yourself and share it with others so they know what you're working on. 
• How can CEOs get people to trust them and tell the truth? -- Ask people what they would do if they had your role.  LISTEN.  
  • "You have to be vulnerable enough to want to know the truth"
• The power of recognition -- "The secret weapon I had as a leader was to recognize great performance to drive the behaviors we valued"
• Why people quit their jobs:
  • Their boss
  • They don't feel appreciated
• Utilize the digital leadership platform