The Learning Leader Show with Ryan Hawk

Go to www.LearningLeader.com for full show notes

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Tom Ryan is the head wrestling coach at Ohio State University. In college, he wrestled for perhaps the greatest wrestling coach of all time, Dan Gable, at Iowa, where he was a two-time Big Ten champion and a two-time NCAA All-American. As a coach at Ohio State, he’s won numerous national coach of the year honors, has coached more than 75 All-Americans, and led the Buckeyes to a national championship in 2015. We filmed this in his office in Columbus, OH, after spending the morning watching some of his championship wrestlers practice. It was one of the coolest days I’ve had in a long time.

Notes:

• “My first workout after driving from Syracuse to Iowa was a soul-cleanser. I collapsed in my car outside the arena. I couldn’t stop crying.”
  • "It was a line in the sand moment for me. Where are you going or staying? Because I could have turned around, I could have went right back. But it was this sense of knowing that you were in the right place."
  • It’s amazing that Tom decided to leave Syracuse with no guarantee of even making the team at Iowa, let alone a scholarship. He shows up on day 1, and Coach Gable didn’t even know who he was! Crazy. And then he goes on to earn his spot and become an All-American.
• Competitive Spirit from Early Age: "There's certainly an element of competitive spirit... even in second grade, we were on the playground... if you lose, you're fighting somebody. You just wanna win, you wanna win everything you do."
• Why go to Iowa?
  • The Will to Be Great – "I wanted to be elite at something. And by trial and error, it was almost trial and error... I wasn't gonna end my career with not knowing how high I could climb."
• Key Learnings from Dan Gable:
  • Emotional Control – "He wasn't a yeller. He wasn't a screamer... The reason why he didn't need to yell was his competence."
  • Focus on Situation, Not Person – "It was never personal... He would focus on the situation and not you as a person. You never felt attacked. It was just bluntly, your single leg needs improvement."
  • Balance of Freedom and Accountability – "Too much freedom. Not good... You can drive someone crazy with discipline and rituals and rules... It's just this happy medium."
• One of the most emotional moments in my 10+ years of recording this podcast, Tom shared the story of the day his 5-year-old son, Teague, had a heart attack and tragically passed away. The room went silent. And Tom went deep into the impact that it has had on him and his family. This is something I cannot imagine happening. I am grateful that Tom was willing to share and be so vulnerable. I love Tom Ryan, and I am lucky to have been in Columbus with him.
• The interview with Ohio State: "I wasn't their first choice... But ultimately, I was a leader that had learned. I learned under the best." He prepared extensively, attacked his weaknesses proactively, and wasn't afraid to discuss his faith.
• Chosen vs. Unchosen Suffering – The concept of "chosen suffering" came after experiencing unchosen suffering (losing Teague). "Wrestling has never brought me to my knees... I never got there in wrestling... but when I lost Teague in 2004, that I referred to as unchosen suffering."
• Chosen Suffering = Deep Love – "Chosen suffering is a fancy word for love because you will suffer the most for the things you love the most." The willingness to endure difficulty stems from profound love for what you're pursuing.
• Traits of Elite Performers:
  • Ungodly Effort – "In all studies ever performed on elite behavior... one is an ungodly effort. And I think effort stems from... effort over time is a byproduct of deep love."
  • High Capacity to Learn – Elite athletes have exceptional skill development abilities
  • Living in Truth – "The capacity to live in truth. To really be honest with yourself and be okay with it... really strong self-assessment."
  • Daily Discipline – "The discipline to do it daily... to work on your shortcomings and really be good enough to look in the mirror and say, I love you, but you got some problems."
• Being Coachable – "Most people wanna be coached until they're getting coached." Great performers actively seek feedback, while good ones want to be left alone.
• Three-Pronged Leadership Philosophy:
  • Example – Walk the walk and display the behaviors you want to see
  • Truth in Love – "Too much truth can demoralize someone... too much love, you're patronizing me. Stop it. Gimme the truth."
  • Embracing Pain and Suffering – "We're gonna make decisions that weren't right... and we're gonna accept them and we're gonna grow from them."
• The 3 Success Pillars:
  1. Your Mind - Internal you. Where your thoughts originate.
  2. Your Relationships - Who you allow to influence your decisions.
  3. Your Environment - The setting that will build you or break you.
• The world doesn’t care what we’re after, nor does it care about our principles. It doesn’t care about you or me, nor will it change for us. It doesn’t owe us anything. The world is heading in a direction, spinning on its axis, and there’s little we can do to change that. What we can change, however, is what we do. We can control our direction. We must continuously develop our core and worldview to help us navigate the temptations of the world.
• What happened on the morning of April 23, 2024? Coach Ryan had been on his way to OSU for an early morning workout with colleagues when his SUV, traveling at about 65 miles per hour, struck the semitrailer.
  • Physical Trauma vs. Emotional Trauma – "When we lost Teague, I was healthy, I was physically healthy, I was mentally healthy... when I hit this tractor trailer at full speed... the physical trauma that occurred was surreal. And I wasn't ready."
  • "I went into a terrible depression... I was sad when I lost my son, but I wasn't depressed... But in this, I was suicidal for a little bit." Coach Ryan openly shared his mental health struggles with family and got help.
• The #1 indicator of sustained success is emotional control.
• Two-word mantra — keep working.
• Physical Suffering as Mental Training – "Every single time I bike, there comes a moment in the bike ride where I realize I'm a sissy... there's a humbling, there's humility piece that you get from suffering."
• Choose the Hard Thing  - "I can always come up with an excuse why I'm not gonna do squats... And then I have to pause and say, dude. Get under the bar... getting under the bar... builds confidence for everything else in life." (that was from me)
• Discipline as a Superpower – "Discipline is a superpower. It's available to everybody." The transferable skill of choosing difficulty when you don't want to.
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Go to www.LearningLeader.com for full show notes

This is brought to you by Insight Global. If you need to hire 1 person, hire a team of people, or transform your business through Talent or Technical Services, Insight Global's team of 30,000 people around the world have the hustle and grit to deliver. Go to www.InsightGlobal.com/LearningLeader

William von Hippel grew up in Alaska, got his B.A. at Yale and his PhD at the University of Michigan, and taught for a dozen years at Ohio State University before finding his way to Australia, where he is a professor of psychology at the University of Queensland. He’s the author of multiple books. A few months ago, he published The Social Paradox: Autonomy, Connection, and Why We Need Both to Find Happiness.

Notes

• Why do people who have comfortable lives filled with freedom and abundance still feel unhappy? Need two things… Connection and autonomy.
• Are leaders born or made? Yes. Like most things, it’s not a black and white answer. The key is to use your unique strengths to effectively inspire others to do the work that must be done to achieve the goals of the team or company.
• How happy is Bill? He scores high on the genetics polygene(?) score. Some people are more genetically wired to be happy than others.
• You can fight against your genes and win. It’s just harder for you than others with better genetics. What’s my path of genetic least resistance? If you have low willpower, get the potato chips out of the house. Know yourself.
• Be yourself plus 20%. Overconfidence can be a good thing. Especially earlier in your career.
• Fake it til you make it. It can be good a lot of the time. He was overconfident as a new assistant professor, and it helped him.
• How you receive feedback is critical.
• Be honest, be kind
• His dad moved the family to Alaska because he didn’t love being told what to do. He was a heart surgeon.
• Bill moved to Australia. A hard place to make friends because they don’t move around much. He made connections with others who had moved there from out of the country.
• Life/Career advice: Too many choices can be bad. What are the elements of a job that I enjoy? What are my strengths?
• Leaders - It’s lonely at the top. You need a group you can trust and enjoy their company. Google study - They do everything in teams. What’s needed? Psychological safety. You need to be able to disagree with each other. Give feedback. It’s on the leader to create healthy disagreement. And receive feedback in a way that encourages more of it.
• I was surprised by how much of our happiness, health, and strength were based purely on our genetics. Some people are just born happier, healthier, and stronger than you. It doesn’t mean you can’t be happy, healthy, or strong. It just means that you need to work harder to make it happen. That’s life!

Go to www.LearningLeader.com for full show notes

This is brought to you by Insight Global. If you need to hire 1 person, hire a team of people, or transform your business through Talent or Technical Services, Insight Global's team of 30,000 people around the world have the hustle and grit to deliver.

Go to www.InsightGlobal.com/LearningLeader

Rich Gotham is the President of the Boston Celtics. He is responsible for all aspects of the Celtics' business operations. In addition, he works closely with Celtics ownership, basketball operations staff, and the NBA on basketball-related matters, as well as team and league initiatives. He succeeds “Red” Auerbach as Celtics team President and serves on the NBA Board of Governors. Since joining the Celtics in 2003, he’s helped grow team revenues by over 300%, and they’ve won two NBA championships.

Notes:

• Must-haves when making hiring decisions for a leadership role: Work ethic, self-awareness, a catalyst for positive energy, purpose-driven, and care ("give a shit").
• At the time, the Celtics were run like a mom-and-pop shop. Rich was brought in to help them run like a professional business.
• Rich was recruited to the Celtics by new owner (at the time), Wyc Grousbeck. 3 different people told Wyc that he should talk to Rich. – Add value. Leave people better than you found them. They will refer you to others for big jobs without you even knowing it.
• Celtic pride - grew up there, made you proud to be from Boston.
  • "Different here." 18-time champs.
• Pressure from fans to win: It beats indifference.
• Making bets on potential - Hiring Brad Stevens.
• Danny Ainge did a great job selling it to Brad.
• Watching Payton Pritchard warm up. He cares.
• Working with the Bruins and Red Sox leaders – Lower the ego, put yourself in their shoes. Seek first to understand. And find a way to get it done. Rich went outside of the office to meet regularly with a leader of the Boston Bruins to get their lease squared away. That had been an issue for decades, and he helped get it figured out so both sides could win.
• Advice - You have to have self-belief, believe in your ability. Don't let that get chipped away. Why should they pick you? Be vulnerable.
• Leave others better than you found them.

The Learning Leader Show with Ryan Hawk

Go to www.LearningLeader.com for full show notes.

This is brought to you by Insight Global. If you need to hire 1 person, hire a team of people, or transform your business through Talent or Technical Services, Insight Global's team of 30,000 people around the world have the hustle and grit to deliver. Go to www.InsightGlobal.com/LearningLeader

Notes

• "Average players want to be left alone. Good players want some coaching. Great players want the truth."
•  It is not a company’s job to give work-life balance to someone. And he is not balanced. He’s on 24/7. It was refreshing to hear the real story from someone who is running a company. As Dr. Julie Gurner said on episode #538, “People will tell you in books that you have to live a 'balanced life,' but if we are completely honest, almost all great things are born from periods of imbalance.”
• Make the most of your 2% moments. 98% of the time, life is just happening… But every once in a while, you’ll have the 2% opportunities. Like when he met his wife, or interviewed with Kendra Scott. It’s on us as leaders to be ready to make the most of those 2% moments.
• Tom's relationship with Kendra: “We’ve been through so many hard things together.” Those hard times can forge a strong relationship, or they can break you. Remember that the next time you’re going through something tough with someone else. It’s an opportunity to fortify a relationship.
• Hiring - Play your position well. Know what you're good at. Don't have to like teammates, but do need to love them. Learn from mistakes.
• Work is like family. But you don't fire your family... Discipline comes from a place of love.
• Read: The Way of the Shepherd
• Goal maniac - After failing at his first job interview, he asked for another shot and showed up the next day with pages of goals.
• Tom's Strengths - immediate urgency, insatiable need to win, good problem solver, better when things are hard.
• How do you navigate slow walkers? It's hard. Need patience and thoughtfulness too.
• What are the must-haves to be hired as a leader with Tom? Good human. Win + Kindness + Compassion.
• Tom claims that he is not a good interviewer. Gets help from the team. It is a rigorous process.
  • He wants people who have gone through hard things. "Living through struggle makes people better." Grit.

The Learning Leader Show with Ryan Hawk

Go to www.LearningLeader.com for full show notes

This is brought to you by Insight Global. If you need to hire 1 person, hire a team of people, or transform your business through Talent or Technical Services, Insight Global's team of 30,000 people around the world have the hustle and grit to deliver. Go to www.InsightGlobal.com/LearningLeader

Stanley McChrystal is a retired four-star general. Stan is the former commander of the nation’s premier military counter-terrorism force, Joint Special Operations Command (also known as JSOC). His command included more than 150,000 troops from 45 allied countries. Since he retired from the Army, Stan has written multiple best-selling books including, Team of Teams, and most recently, On Character.

• The most crucial discipline is to think for yourself. To a sad degree, we’re lazy. People comment on things they haven’t watched or read, but have seen comments by others who align with their political party. They aren’t thinking for themselves (this is why it’s almost impossible to align completely with one political party for me). If you find yourself saying “I just do” or  “that’s what I heard,” that’s not thinking.
• Being Obsessed – “I am convinced that few truly great achievements are reached by individuals with an impressive work-life balance, and the price of greatness, in a word, is great. In the end, I’m an advocate for obsession."
• The Ranger Effect – The value of unwavering standards.Created near the end of Vietnam when the Army had lowered its standards. They created 2 units of Rangers to raise the standard. It permeated the entire Army. How does a leader do this in Corporate America? Clearly establish expectations. You cannot have a “say-do” gap. The leader must demonstrate the values on a constant basis. BE what you want. Discipline to hold people accountable.
• “My major takeaway at almost 70 years old is conclusive. I wish I’d thought more, been more contemplative about my convictions, and been more deliberate about the person I sought to be.”
• Stan's mom — she died on New Year’s Day 1971 at age 45. Stan was 16. Had 6 kids. Mary Bright McChrystal. Writes about her in the civil rights chapter.
• “I accept no belief or claim to truth automatically or unconditionally.”
• White Water Rafting – When the subject of America’s involvement in Afghanistan arises, Stan is frequently asked, what he might do differently if given the chance to do it all over again. Answer: “Go white water rafting.”
• In Patient Pursuit of Greatness – In the spring of 2012, Stan was teaching a leadership class at Yale. That’s when he met their football coach, Tony Reno: “Not many things materially affect my trajectory. But this time was different. What was different? Coach Reno.”
• Choosing to Lead – Leadership is not a title or position. It’s a choice.
• “Embrace the suck” – “Why suck a little, when you can suck a lot?”
• Eat one meal a day. It’s built on being undisciplined with food. If you only eat dinner, you can eat a lot for that one meal.
• Self-Discipline - Most important attribute for a leader.
• Wife Annie - Dependent on her. Kind, thoughtful, caring.
• Life/Career Advice: Have the discipline to decide want you want to be. Be intentional. LISTEN: Don’t just talk. Be respectful. Don’t be afraid to fail. Try it, get back up. Try again.
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